Busy Work for People with Dementia: Is It Helpful or Harmful?

When caring for someone living with dementia, there’s often a strong desire to keep them “busy” throughout the day. You’ve probably seen or heard of suggestions like giving your partner a basket of towels to fold—or setting up sorting or matching tasks—just to keep their hands and minds active. You may have even heard the suggestion to never give people with dementia busy work because it is insulting.

But here’s the thing: busy work in and of itself isn’t bad. The key is in how it’s done. So, let’s break it down.

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What is Busy Work, Really?

Busy work typically refers to activities that aren’t essential or necessary but serve to fill time. In the context of dementia care, it’s often used to help reduce restlessness, provide structure to the day, or give a sense of accomplishment.

But not all busy work is created equal. When it’s done thoughtfully, it can provide purpose and meaningful engagement. When it’s done carelessly—or even deceptively—it can leave someone feeling frustrated, patronized, or disrespected.

By definition, some might argue that if the task is meaningful, then it’s not really “busy work.” And… maybe that’s true. But that’s not really the point. What matters more than the label is the intention behind the activity and how it’s presented. Instead of getting caught up in whether something technically qualifies as busy work, focus on whether it feels purposeful, respectful, and appropriate for your partner.

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What Makes Busy Work Meaningful?

Let’s say you do have a basket of towels. If they truly need to be folded, and you genuinely need the help, that task suddenly has purpose. You’re inviting your partner to contribute. You’re giving them a role to play.

But if you’re handing them the same towels every day just to give them something to do—and then unfolding the towels behind their back, or worse right in front of them because you assume they won’t notice or remember—that’s a different story. That’s not just meaningless busy work—it’s disrespectful. It communicates their effort doesn’t matter, and that can be incredibly harmful.

Here’s a general rule of thumb: If it wouldn’t feel good if someone did it to you, please avoid doing it to your partner.

People living with dementia still deserve dignity and respect. Many people with dementia can still sense when they are being kept busy just for the sake of it. And that can chip away at their sense of self-worth.

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What to Aim For Instead

If the goal is to help your partner feel engaged and connected, try asking these questions before offering an activity:

• Is there a purpose to this task? Even simple tasks like tearing lettuce for a salad or organizing cards can feel purposeful if they serve a real need or make a visible difference.
• Would they enjoy this? If it’s something they used to enjoy or currently seem drawn to, it may be worth trying.
• Can this be done together? Shared activities tend to feel more meaningful and can create positive moments of connection.
• Is it respectful? Avoid anything that feels deceptive or dismissive—especially if it’s something you wouldn’t appreciate being asked to do or having done to you. If it would feel rude to you, it likely feels the same to them.

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And yes—it's okay to reuse activity kits.

Repetition and familiarity can be comforting. Just make sure the kits you reuse include tasks your partner consistently finds engaging and enjoyable. If it’s something they return to with interest time and time again, that’s a good sign it’s worth keeping in rotation. The key is to watch for signs of boredom or frustration and adjust accordingly.

Now, you might be thinking, “Wait—didn’t you just say not to reuse the same towels every day?” Good catch! But, here’s the difference: it’s not about the repetition itself—it’s about whether the task is presented with genuine purpose and respect.

If your partner enjoys folding towels and doesn't mind doing it regularly, that’s totally fine—as long as the towels are being put away and their contribution feels real.

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Examples of Purposeful “Busy Work”

• Helping prepare a simple snack or meal for self or others
• Watering plants or making a flower arrangement
• Matching containers with lids or organizing drawers
• Brushing a pet
• Folding actual laundry that needs to be put away
• Wiping down surfaces
• Unpacking groceries from their bags
• Making cards or writing notes to others
• Shredding junk mail
• Playing a game
• Putting together a puzzle

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The list is endless—but what matters is your mindset and whether these are activities your partner would actually enjoy. It’s not just about keeping them preoccupied.

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So—busy work: yay or nay?

Yay, with conditions. Keep it purposeful. Keep it enjoyable. Keep it respectful. Your partner deserves to feel needed and involved, not disrespected or misled.

And if you’re ever unsure about an activity, ask yourself: “Would I feel good about this if I were in their shoes?” If the answer is yes, it’s probably an okay choice!

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